Desultory Thoughts of a Longfellow

Baseball(s) and everything else.

Category: Baseball

The Sound A Plouffe Makes

I have to say, I have a fun surname. It’s simple. Rolls off the tongue. And yeah, there’s always that sexual innuendo. You knew it was going there.

You should have seen that coming.


I also have to say, Trevor Plouffe has an equally fun surname. And while it is not as simple, despite being one less syllable, I can proclaim that Plouffe does in fact roll off the tongue just as easily. Perhaps even more easily than Longfellow. And there’s a sandbox mode here to which you can Plouffe anything.

See what I just did there?

But, I can’t just make a superfluous post with just a whole bunch of ‘Plouffe’s’ copy-and-pasted and then call it a day. Well, I mean, I can. Actually, that might be a fun idea. What I’m saying is, I would rather have a reason to go Plouffe all over your face. (That’s another 3 points.)

And, so, I give you the Plouffeness in all his glory…

Plouffe goes the dynamite! I’m here all night folks.

If you haven’t already, you should say ‘Plouffe’, drawn out, in a high-pitched manner while watching this pretty amazing catch.


Because that’s the sound a Plouffe makes.


A Day In The Life of A Dugout Phone

The life of a dugout phone is not a hard one. In fact, if it were possible, I wouldn’t mind living the life of a dugout phone.

What’s not to like?

You get to watch 81 games a year with the best seat in the house. You get to hear all the ‘baseball guy’ banter. Unlimited sunflower seeds and Gatorade. Sure, you do get touched by the manager, like a lot. But if you really love baseball, you’re not that far off really loooooving baseball, so I’m sure that feel is something that could be adapted as a positive. I mean, hey, sometimes we all need a gentle grab n’ hold. Amiright?


Anyhow, if you were to ask me a day before yesterday if living the life of a dugout phone was something I would be interested in, I might smile a bit and then nod gently. Because a day before yesterday, this did not happen.

It all started with David Ortiz, Big Papi as he’s referred to, taking what looked to be ball four.

To the umpire, Tim Timmons, that obviously was not a ball. To David Ortiz and to the viewer, that obviously was a ball. But unfortunately, only one of us has the final say.


David Ortiz taught me something yesterday. Actually, he taught me two things.

1) David Ortiz is a very big man with a bat, who I would rather not anger.

2) I no longer wish to spend a day as a dugout phone.

Please also note, based on the fallout, I don’t want to be Dustin Pedroia either.

Haiku- Smoak You

Smoak You

Justin Smoak, really?

These homeruns make me feel like…

You’re fucking with me.

Victor Martinez Plays Defense?

Ron Burgundy question mark is always a good question mark. No one can deny this.

Victor Martinez  is not having a good year. No one can deny this either.

In 73 games and 305 plate appearances, he is hitting 227/285/337. Darwin Barney, in about the same span, is hitting 230/293/350. But, to my best recollection, Darwin Barney has never done this:

That is Victor Martinez, a former catcher, and most likely a former hitter… making one gnarly play. Like everything else stated above, this also cannot be denied.

Haiku- Ryu Hyun-jin, I Might Need Therapy

Ryu Hyun-jin, I Might Need Therapy 

We’re both Korean,

Let’s make kimchee together,

I’m really lonely.

Haiku- Your Last Name Should Just Be ‘S’

Your Last Name Should Just Be ‘S’

Hey, Eric Hosmer

Please hit more than two homeruns


One of the Better Catches I Have Ever Seen

Last night, Will Venable, in a 13-inning game against the Giants, went 1 for 7 including two strikeouts with a lonely single being his only hit. Oh, yeah, he also did this…

With two outs and Brandon Belt standing on second in the 12th, Juan Perez drove the ball deep to center off of pitcher Nick Vincent. Venable, after landing face-first in the dirt, got a standing ovation from a Giants crowd that had already stood up from their seats from what they had thought was a sure-thing, walk-off victory.

The amount of time Venable took to cover roughly 30 yards is about the same amount of time it takes me to get up from my chair.

One last thing. After starting the year 5-15, the Padres are now 36-34 after last night’s win. They are just one game back from first place in the NL West. Hunh?

Haiku- R.A. Dickey And Me

R.A. Dickey And Me

Dickey’s year so far,

Too many walks and homeruns,

Stop, or please kill me.